Most of guidebooks about sex are filled with common sense, specific experiences that may or may not apply to you, and supplementary advice, how to spice things up, for example. If you're healthy, you're already equipped with everything you need to have good sex. There are some things, however, that can go wrong in the bedroom if you're not careful.
Below you'll find a list of things that women should avoid when having sex. We also argue that men should call themselves out when committing similar offenses.
When you jump into bed with someone, you can't assume that they're a mind reader or that the love between the two of you is so strong that the only rule you have to follow is "anything goes." By being just a little more thoughtful, you can avoid some major disasters. Take a look at some common blunders below.
You just lie there.
Unless you have some sort of agreement, you shouldn’t just be lying there. Sexually active folks will often say that sex is a workout, and it truly is. Put your back into it. Surprise your partner every once in a while. Seduce them.
You don't offer any guidance.
Some of us are creatures of habit and want the same thing every time. This makes things easier on our partners, who will likely know how to please us.
For the rest of us, however, the things that turn us on will vary. If this is the case, you can’t assume your partner will know exactly what you want. Bringing a woman to sexual pleasure and an orgasm is statistically difficult, so don’t be afraid to lead the way.
You assume that sex is a casual thing for your partner.
Some of us have casual sex and that’s fine, but everyone does. For some people, sex is a sacred act, for religious reasons and beyond. Don’t assume you know where they stand. Talk about it before jumping the gun.
You think that sex will alleviate your partner's stress.
We’re not saying this isn’t true. Sex is sometimes the best thing when you’re stressed out, but there are times when your partner just needs you. Or maybe they need some space. If they don’t respond to your sexual advances, don’t take it personally.
You expect them to do all the preparation.
It’s okay if you like being taken care of but if you’re going to have sex, learn to be responsible. Discuss who is bringing the condoms or what other methods of protection you’re thinking of using.
You don't give them a chance to admire you.
Unfortunately, it is common for both men and women to live with negative body image. This is a deeply personal issue, but it is also something that you can work on with your partner. Let your partner love your body. Don’t hide. Turn the lights low if you must but don’t treat sex like pin the tail on the donkey.
You think they never run out of energy.
Most women can enjoy multiple orgasms but men need some time before giving it another go. If you’re still in the mood, don’t be afraid to guide his hands or mouth to get what you want (if he’s not absolutely wiped out). Don’t be afraid to continue by touching yourself either.
You are an absolute chatterbox.
Be aware of what you’re talking about before, during, and after sex. If it’s going to kill the mood, don’t talk about it. If you’re not in the mood for sex, do say so. If you just love talking, flirt or engage in some dirty talk. Stay on topic.
You make it difficult for them to navigate your area.
You don’t have to get a Brazilian, but do keep it tidy down there. The female body is already an enigma to some people and you don’t want to confuse them even more. Definitely wash the area for cleanliness and if you don’t want to shave, at least trim.
You confuse cuddle time for sexy time.
This is a common one that can get either partner into trouble. Maybe you just want to cuddle so you bring your body closer. However, this move arouses your partner but you’re tired and honestly just wanted to cuddle. No one likes feeling unwanted, so be really clear about your intentions. Tell them you want to cuddle, not “cuddle.”
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind