Whether fellatio or cunnilingus, oral sex is about pleasure. According to research from over 33 studies, Professor of Biology Elizabeth A. Lloyd noted that only a quarter of women regularly have orgasms from vaginal intercourse. This is not to say that orgasms are the only kind of pleasure a women should enjoy. The truth is still that the majority of women prefer a variety of stimulations that directly involve the clitoris, including oral sex. And despite popular belief, more and more studies are showing that men, especially older men, are giving oral sex as much as they receive it.
But oral sex is about more than just pleasure. It's also about trust and respect. If you're performing oral sex or allowing someone to perform oral sex on you, you've established some sort of bond with them. Fleeting or lasting? Well, that's up to the two of you. While everyone's bodies are different, there are some general rules that all of us should follow.
#1. Don't think you have to be an expert to give good oral sex.
Having sex is a natural thing. It doesn’t require any special powers. The less pressure you put on yourself to perform, the more comfortable you will feel pleasuring your partner. Confidence isn’t always about knowing the techniques, it’s about letting go of those outside pressures. Relax. You will do just fine.
#2. Never pressure your partner into having oral sex.
With movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, dominance/submission relationships seem to be trending, but you should never assume what’s okay and what’s not okay with your parter.
#3. How do you know what's okay? Talk about it.
You might think that’ll ruin the moment by talking about it beforehand, but it’ll save you the pain of losing someone’s trust and interest later on. Depending on the nature of your relationship, it can be as casual or in-depth as you’d like, just as long as the two of you communicate what you’re open to.
No Strings Attached
#4. Keep your hands and mouth clean.
You will be in contact with someone else’s private parts. Make sure you’ve washed your mouth and hands thoroughly.
#5. Keep it tidy down there.
You don’t have to get a Brazilian wax, but make sure the area is somewhat manageable. Also make sure to wash your genitals. Male bodied folks should stick to mild body soaps and washes. Health experts recommend those with female bodies to use only water and their hand, because the vulva is easily irritated by soaps and other beauty products.