There are 11,552 athletes competing at the Rio Olympics this year: That's 11,552 young, strong, physically remarkable human beings, competing against each other to win the most prestigious athletic award in the world.
All things considered, it makes sense that when the games are over and the stadium lights go out, the Olympic Village gets, as the kids say, turnt. There's no other way to say it, so close your eyes if you're the modest sort: Olympic athletes are having sex with each other, and lots of it. In fact, they've been doing so since the Olympics were around, and judging by the amount of condoms handed out in Rio, their sex drives are showing no sign of slowing down.
Try not to be too horrified: These are consenting adults, getting down and dirty with other consenting adults. They're at their physical prime, and everyone around them looks as good as they do. Can you blame them? Still, the sheer amount of condoms being tossed around at this year's Olympics is pretty shocking!
There are a lot of reasons that the Rio Olympics are entertaining.
Sure, the sports and the superhuman athletes are definitely worth watching. But there’s one lesser-known fact about the games that’s also pretty great.
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So what's that fact: Well, it's all about how much sex the Olympians are having.
And furthermore, just how many condoms they’re using.
A team of people has handed out about 450,000 condoms at the Olympic Village in Rio.
That’s right: Nearly half a million condoms have been distributed — thats’s 42 condoms per athlete, courtesy of the Brazilian government.
In a lot of ways, it makes sense that the Olympics would turn into a superhuman orgy.
Think about it: Most of the athletes are in their twenties and thirties, all of them are at their peak athletic prime, and in between competitions, they have a lot of downtime.
The whole point of handing out the condoms is to ensure that the athletes are safe.
“This is considered sufficient to encourage athletes to practice safe sex while in Brazil for the Olympic Games,” the International Olympic Committee (IOC) told the Folha de São Paulo newspaper.
Then again, the increase makes sense.
Brazil is a decidedly MUCH sexier place than, say, Seoul or London. One could argue that the athletes are simply acclimating to their environment.
There are some rules in place regarding sex in the village — either unspoken or otherwise.
Some athletes have curfews, and it’s understood that nobody should be having sex outside of the confines of their rooms.
Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images
There's also a certain level of camaraderie in Rio — and at all the Olympics.
There seems to be a general rule that all Olympic athletes follow — what happens in Rio, stays in Rio. That’s why there’s so little talk about everyone’s sexscapades in the news.
Still, we can't help but wonder…
Michael Phelps might be married with a baby now, but we’re thinking he had to get a little freaky in the 2012 Olympics…right?
Martin Bureau/AFP/Getty Images
With this record amount of condoms being handed out, we can be certain of one thing.
No matter who goes to bed with who or what kind of scandal is going on behind the scenes, these athletes have enough condoms to be more than safe.